We were coming from a business trip. Two young women and I were on our way home after finishing a week long training session. It was awesome! Not the trip – I am talking about the training! A lots of hope, packed with a lot of worries, and a humongous plan for next two months to see the fruits of hard work in next few months. I was excited! I had reason to be excited. It was a resurrection for me in terms of my business life! And heartfelt thanks to a gentleman for making it happen! I also realized that ‘wisdom’ is a function of education, experience, and age when he made a decision approving my business deal by changing it! I truly realized what a good decision that was in next few months.   

About an hour ago we met that gentleman and it was the last part of our week-long program. What a guy! A ‘dollar-rich’ man, but that richness becomes very timid compare to his smartness and ‘richness’ in other aspects! A super-duper smart man! It was a treat to see him again. I said again because one of the girls and I met him about a month ago when he taught us how to multiply big numbers without using paper and pencil or a calculator. It was really cool – extremely cool to be able to multiply big numbers in my head!

“So, what do you think of him? An awesome guy, isn’t he? How do you feel?” I asked them casually to start a conversation to enlighten our trip with his wisdom.

“The question is how do you feel being with two beautiful women?” One of them replied to my question with another question.

Those of you are hating (or at least not liking much) my articles so far will be very angry to know that I was wearing a seatbelt. Otherwise, I would not be here to write today. Yes, I tried to jump out of the car. The seat belt kept me intact!

Objectifying women is always controversial (or demeaning) even though we (the men) always do that without thinking twice. And some of us object to objectifying or at least pretend to object through our “questionable intellectual mechanism!” Men grow up (or grow down) within the halo of a beautiful woman. Along with owning many cows or horses, our pride is also tied with owning a beautiful woman. Well, in modern world we replaced cows and horses with cars, but still stuck with the beauty of women!

(At this point, one may argue about “men to women” vs. “men to men or women to women” by bringing homosexuality into the equation. Point will be justified in today’s complex world. However, let us stick with our original thought for the sake of simplicity!)

You can give free books, foods, gifts, and whatever you want, but if the horse not only does not want to drink, but also complains that there is not enough water to swim or spread legs, you are stuck with absolutely nothing!

Here, I said it! I know, I know, I am going to Heller! (In case you don’t know what Heller is, if you keep reading my articles, you will find out! Heller is a place Jesus is making for me – only for me!)

Not only the horse complains about the quantity of the water, but also says that it is merely water, not wine! Go figure!

I was working in the backroom. Someone came to inform me that a client just came in to see me. As soon as I stepped in the hallway, a little girl ran toward me. This was her second visit to the office with her mom. We (the little girl and I) must have miraculously bonded in our first visit for her to run like I was her relative or at least she knew me for the whole segment of her five years of life span. This is the beauty of being a child! A kid doesn’t have to judge us, the adults! A little kid does not have to know who you are or your race to be a friend or give his or her whole world to you.

I wish it was true to us, the adults as well. We judge others and make fun when we can! Someone told me (jokingly) once that she (the mother) won’t like me unless I get a tan. This statement was a result of the feature of the child, which could give us the clue that she had been with someone other than her own race to have that child! Surprised?

You might not want to know the answer I gave to him. I only can tell you that he didn’t like it at all what I had said! I definitely hurt his ego!

Talking about looks, have you noticed how some people have “down to earth” look while some look  like egoistic bull? This look has nothing to do with the physical attribute of the person per say, rather it’s the posture of the person to draw you close to them! Next time you see Bill Clinton or Bill Gates on TV, just notice how they look! Really cool! Mellow, the next door neighbor, and kind of inviting you to ask them a question such as, hey what’s up?

It’s like this, if you see Clinton, you ask, “Hey, what’s up?” If you see Bush, you ask, “Hello, Mr. President! How are you?”

I have some people in my life like that and I truly love them for their awesome postures!

So, the question is how do I feel being with two beautiful women? How do I feel? How should I feel?

I looked at her and I was speechless. The other one (the ‘pretty’ one!) realized that it was not an appropriate question especially for her to ask me. Why? Well, let me tell you something about objectifying women by other women! If you think, women don’t notice or put down other women based on their looks, you are wrong. One day, the ‘pretty’ one said that she (the one who asked me that question) needs make up. She does not look good without makeup!    

Let me tell you something else. When I told some people who had seen both women about this, they asked me if I was sure about the girl who asked me that question. “Are you sure, it was not the other one who asked you that?” they asked. Yes, you guessed it right! The other one was very pretty and it would have been justified in some ways because of that.

This is why I like seagulls! No question, no expectations, no nonsense, just awesome noise they make and will come to pick up whatever food you give them. Have you tried offering them some food? Try holding a small piece of chicken in between your thumb and index finger. One will fly to you and will pick up the quarter or half-inch piece of chicken from you with their sharp beak without hurting you or even touching your fingers! Talk about precision! And yes, no question to you if she was pretty! You don’t have to worry how they look. I love them!

Now, my question is should we be taxed based on our looks? Why not? Women get free drinks at the bar from men all the time, don’t they? Then why not taxation based on the looks?

No more flat tax rates, do you all Republicans out there hear me? Do you understand?

If you call 911, you are asked about the race of the person(s). Really? I called 911 for some kids were loitering in front of the store. I asked them to leave or I would call the police. One of them asked me, “What the f--- police gonna do?”

The guy from the 911 help desk asked me about their races. I asked him, “What difference does it make?” The guy got mad at me and hung up on me.

Most of them were obvious in terms of their races that is, but one of them was so ‘upset’ looking that that dude from 911 would have been disappointed. I said ‘upset’ looking because I had no idea what was his race and the 911 dude would have been really upset seeing him! I asked two employees (one was Black and the other one was White) and they couldn’t figure out the damn race of that guy either! How upsetting!

Before you shoot me, could you please tell me your race so I could tell the police later if I am alive by any chance?

I want to go the beach before the summer ends. I want to feed some seagulls. No question, no expectation, no race, no tax, no sex, just give them some food and they are happy. Occasionally they will poop on you though. Well, it’s better than hearing from a young girl, “Even sex is better……”

An unfinished sentence! Sex is better than what? She wouldn’t tell me. Now it’s your imagination!

(Was published in July in the original write2020 site, right before that site was lost.)

About the Author

Kumar Ghosh

Kumar Ghosh